His Needs Her Needs – Fill Out and Use This PDF

PARTICIPANT’S GUIDE

BUILDING AN AFFAIR - PROOF MARRIAGE

( A SIX-SESSION STUDY )

Willard F. Harley, Jr.

O

Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

© 2013 by Baker Publishing Group

Published by Revell

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording— without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-0-8007-2100-8

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

Contents

5Family Commitment and Physical Attractiveness 35

6 Honesty and Admiration 41

The Wrap-Up 47

Emotional Needs Questionnaire 49

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Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

Welcome to a

Brand-New Marriage

What must a couple do to stay happily married?

Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., poses that question in the preface to his bestselling book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. Why? Because everyone wants a happy marriage, but less than 25 percent of couples actually experience that. By the time most couples have been married five years, they’re wondering if a happy marriage over the long haul is even possible.

Marriage in the real world is a lot of things, but truthfully, we all know it isn’t always happy. In fact, over half of marriages end in divorce and another one-third remain disappointing throughout life. That leaves about one successful marriage in five. Romantic love is fragile and requires special care to continue throughout life.

Most of us have very little, if any, training on how to make mar- riage work. Despite the fact that marriage is the deepest relational commitment we make in life, it often feels like we’re just winging it—sometimes with disastrous results. Passionate and fulfilling marriages are not achieved by chance. Leaving things to chance creates problems.

You and your spouse can do what it takes to be in love with each other for the rest of your lives. The key is to rekindle romantic love for one another, and the key to that is learning to identify and meet each other’s most important emotional needs. In this series, Dr. Harley will give you a program that will help you create and sustain romantic love.

Dr. Harley is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, marriage counselor, and author. His signature book His Needs, Her Needs

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Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

Welcome to a Brand-New Marriage

has been called the best book on marriage ever! More than three million copies of His Needs, Her Needs have been sold, and there is no telling how many marriages have been revived, restored, or enhanced because of the principles Dr. Harley shares in this classic book. On their daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders Radio, Dr. Harley and his wife, Joyce, offer practical solutions and suggestions to almost any marital problem. But perhaps the most impressive qualification he and Joyce bring to the topic of marriage is that they themselves have remained happily married for over fifty years. If you spend any time with them at all, you will quickly discover that their relationship continues to be fresh, vibrant, and fun.

Do you want a marriage like that? Or have you given up hope that a romantic and passionate relationship is even possible anymore? Well, Bill and Joyce Harley will not give up on you.

His Needs, Her Needs identifies the ten most vital emotional needs for men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. In this series based on His Needs, Her Needs, you’ll learn to love each other more cre- atively and more sensitively, and you’ll see that it’s possible to virtually eliminate the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs and divorce. As you watch these videos and work through the sessions together, you’ll be given the amazing opportunity to improve the present condition of your marriage—regardless of how great or how challenging it currently is.

As the director of this video series, I can tell you that since meeting Bill and Joyce Harley and working on these principles, my twenty-five-year marriage to my wife, Judy, has never been sweeter. I appreciate the Harleys—and I’m sure you will too.

John Grooters

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Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

GROUND RULES

Atmosphere of Respect

Please remember to always be respectful of your spouse. Nobody should hear you fight! Also, remem- ber that no marriage is perfect. You are not trying to outshine or compete with the other couples in the room. We are here to encourage and support one another, to build up marriages that are blessed by God.

Spousal Privilege

In a courtroom, the private conversations between a husband and wife are not permitted to be aired publicly or entered as evidence. If it’s not appro- priate in the courtroom, it’s not appropriate in the classroom. Group time is not the time for you to air the dirty laundry of your marriage, and particularly not the time to criticize or condemn your spouse.

Confidentiality

What happens in the group stays in the group. By treating one another with respect and confidential- ity, you will create a true sense of community and an honest bond between couples. Anything shared outside the group becomes gossip. Don’t go there.

Professional Supervision

A note on professional supervision or counseling: if you find yourself or your spouse emotionally upset throughout this process, or if you find yourself reluc- tant to provide honest reactions, please seek profes- sional supervision. Your pastor, for example, should be able to guide you to a qualified professional.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2012. Used by permission.