How can a social worker understand what an adoptive couple is like? Making a decision to send a child to a new family is a serious responsibility that takes multiple legal matters to settle. One of such matters is finding out what future parents are like. Who are these people? What do their friends and colleagues say about them? Are these people trustworthy? Will they make good parents?
Of course, a social worker cannot predict the destiny of an adopted child, but they can do their best to learn as much about the adoptive couple as necessary. In that matter, a reference letter for adoptions is the best way of getting to know the adoptive parents better.
In this guide, we will delve into the main aspects of reference letters for adoption:
We will also give two examples of adoption recommendation letters and share a few valuable tips on them. To learn more about letters of recommendation, check our full article: https://formspal.com/recommendation-letter-template/.
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If you are a soon-to-be adoptive parent, aside from other legal procedures for adoption, you will also need to provide three to five reference letters from non-family members of yours. An agency would provide a reference letter form to be completed by your referees or ask for a written letter.
The contents of those letters will affect the social agency’s decision, so your reference letters for adoption must positively portray you. That means you will have to choose your referees wisely.
When asking a close friend, a co-worker, etc., to write an adoption reference recommendation for you, it is best to provide them with a list of what should be included in the letter. This will make the task much easier, and the letter will contain all the necessary information.
A general reference letter for adoption must include:
The following section is for those who have been asked to write a reference letter for adoption. These are step-by-step instructions on how to write a good adoption reference letter to help your friends become parents and make a happy family.
1. Describe your relationship with the couple
Start your letter by specifying your relation to the couple in question. In the first part of your letter, include a short history of your acquaintance. When did you first meet? How long have you known each other? Do you see the aspiring adoptive couple often, or maybe you are a co-worker of one of the partners?
2. Describe each person’s character
In the next section of your reference letter, try to give some information on the couple’s characters. This is one of the most critical parts of the letter since, in this part, you get the chance to show the best qualities of the potential parents. Think of what you like the most about these people. Try to include their best character traits, especially in terms of raising children. When describing the couple, accentuate the strengths of each partner.
Further in this part, you will need to provide information about their marriage. Do these people get along well with each other? Do they have frequent fights, or do they find compromises easily? These bits of information will be extremely useful for the social worker in making an adoption decision.
3. Give your recommendation
When finishing your letter, describe how the couple in question gets along with children or whether both potential parents (or one of them) has had any parenting experience in the past. In conclusion, give your recommendation whether you see the couple as suitable for adoption. In this part, you must be as honest as possible to avoid making the social worker’s job harder.
Another thing to remember is that you’re writing the reference letter not to please your friends or make them look much better than they really are. Instead, you are providing a third-party recommendation that will be used in an adoption procedure that is not entirely about your friends but more about a child they wish to adopt.
So your best option in finishing your adoption reference letter is to give an honest and down-to-earth conclusion on whether you think that your friends are suitable for raising a child.
4. Reread and check your letter
When you have finished, don’t send your letter right away. First, make sure that you have not made any spelling mistakes. Reread your letter. Make sure that you’ve said everything you wanted to. Also, make sure that your letter has your full name, a date, your phone number, and your full address. The latter is needed because a social worker may want to contact you to ask you additional questions about what you have written in the letter.
When you’re all set, print the letter and sign it. You can then send the letter via fax or scan it and send it via email. But you will also have to provide the original to the social service.
When writing a recommendation reference for adoption, try to avoid the following:
Sometimes, a social agency may require a referee to fill in an adoption reference questionnaire. This form lists some questions that a referee has to answer, creating an image of a potential parenting couple.
Such questionnaires include questions about:
At the conclusion, the referee may be required to give additional comments about the couple.
a) An adoption recommendation letter for a family member
From_________________
_____________________
____________________
(a referee’s full name and address)
To whom it may concern,
This is the reference letter to recommend my sister _____________ (#1 potential adoptive parent’s name) and her husband _____________ (#2 potential adoptive parent’s name) as adoptive parents. My little sister has chosen me to write this recommendation because she spent a lot of time looking after my two kids. Thus, I can say that _____________(#1 potential adoptive parent’s name) has amazing parenting skills and loves children with all her heart. Becoming a mother has been my sister’s desire since her childhood. And if anything, writing this reference is the least of what I can do to make her dream come true.
_____________(#1 potential adoptive parent’s name) is a loving and caring person. Her ability to interact with children is unbelievable. Children love her, and she always finds a way to make them laugh.
As for her husband, _____________ (#2 potential adoptive parent’s name), I have never seen a man more reasonable and kind. _____________ (#2 potential adoptive parent’s name) is a loving husband and will make a great father.
Writing this letter, I have absolutely no doubt that my sister and her husband will become perfect parents creating a loving environment for an adopted child.
Sincerely,
_____________________
(a referee’s full name and signature)
_____________,20_____
(the current date)
Email:_________________
Phone number:_________________
b) An adoption recommendation letter for a neighbor
From_________________
_____________________
____________________
(a referee’s full name and address)
“To whom it may concern,
I have known ______________ (potential parents’ full names) for six years now, ever since they moved to our neighborhood. Because the couple lives just next door from my place, we interact every day. During these past six years, I’ve gotten to know ______________ (potential parents’ full names) very well.
______________ (#1 potential adoptive parent’s name) is a cheerful and optimistic person. She and my wife have become good friends over the past few years. ______________ (#1 potential adoptive parent’s name) has even babysat our kids a few times, and from that experience, I can say that there is nothing more inspiring for her than taking care of children. I am sure that ______________ (#1 potential adoptive parent’s name) will make a great mother.
_____________ (#2 potential adoptive parent’s name), her husband, is a kind man and a good neighbor that will always come for help any time of day and night. I have frequent interactions with him. I can tell that he loves his wife and wants so badly to become a parent. _____________ (#2 potential adoptive parent’s name) is intelligent, caring, responsible, and self-disciplined.
My recommendation is that ______________ (potential parents’ full names) deserve the right to become adoptive parents.
With best regards,
_____________________
(a referee’s full name and signature)
_____________,20_____
(the current date)
Email:_________________
Phone number:_________________
Let’s do a quick recap on what your adoption letter must look like and what it must include: