Fourth Step Inventory – Fill Out and Use

HELPFUL HINTS

PREPARATION: before you start this written Fourth Step, read pages 63-71 in the Big Book and the Fourth Step in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

NOTE:

1.This inventory is not an exercise in beating yourself up. Be scrupulously honest but be fair to yourself. Inventory your strengths as well as your defects.

2.The following checklist merely suggests what some people consider flaws. You must decide how they fit with your own moral code. Do not be limited by this list--add your other flaws and assets. It is in this Fourth Step that you begin to discover your values– what you consider right and wrong,

functional and dysfunctional behavior–and how you live up to your standards.

3.This inventory is about who you are now, not who you were when you were drinking and taking drugs. Be careful, however, not to blame all past bad behavior on drinking and drugs if the seed of that bad behavior still exists in you.

4.Don't be discouraged when your character defects are not immediately lifted after you

have completed your 5th Step--that is the work of the 6th, 7th and 10th Steps.

5.Prioritize! Spend most of your time on

the 20% of your flaws that cause 80% of the trouble in your life. You can initially check off as many flaws as you want on the checklist but then prioritize to the 12 that cause the most trouble. If you list more

than 12 flaws, you are probably beating yourself up! You must check at lease twice as many assets as you check flaws or you really are beating yourself up.

INTO ACTION: On the following list, check all of your defects and all of your assets. This is an inventory of both bad and good characteristics. Then discuss your defects (with your best example of each) on the Review of Flaws form.

ROYY@ROYY.COM

Footnotes to the list on following page:

1Dr. Bob’s Fourth Step List; in “He Sold Himself Short,” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 292)

2 Seven Deadly Sins (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 48)

3Clarence Snyder’s Fourth Step List (one of the original 40 members of AA, see “Home Brewmeister,” Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 297-303)

4 Boy Scout Law, Robert Binkey's The Official Boy Scout Handbook (10th edition, 1990)(so?

Checklist of Flaws and Assets

Other dysfunctional ways of acting, feeling or thinking which cause others or me pain (specify in the following Review of Flaws).

See source footnotes on page 2.

FLAW

Give your best example of this specific flaw in your life.

10

11

12

FLAW

Give your best example of this specific flaw in your life.

Nationality

Philosophy

Races

Religion

Society

PRINCIPLES

Adultery

Death

God-Deity

Golden Rule

Heaven

Hell

Homophobia

Jesus Christ

Life After Death

Original Sin

Retribution

Satan

Seven Deadly Sins

Sin

Ten Commandments

MORE from your experience!

SELFISH

•Not seeing others point of view, problems or needs

•Wanting things my way

•Wanting special treatment

•Wanting others to meet my needs– dependence

•Wanting what others have

•Wanting to control–dominance

•Thinking I'm better–grandiosity

•Wanting to be the best

•Thinking others are jealous

•Wanting others to be like me

•Being miserly, possessive

•Wanting more than my share

•Reacting from self loathing, self righteousness

•Too concerned about me

•Not trying to be a friend

•Wanting to look good or be liked

•Concerned only with my needs

DISHONEST

•Not seeing or admitting where I was at fault

•Having a superior attitude–thinking I'm better

•Blaming others for my problems

•Not admitting I've done the same thing

•Not expressing feelings or ideas

•Not being clear about motives

•Lying, cheating, stealing

•Hiding reality–not facing facts

•Stubbornly holding on to inaccurate beliefs

•Breaking rules

•Lying to myself

•Exaggerating, minimalizing

•Setting myself up to be “wronged”

•Expecting others to be what they are not

•Being perfectionistic

•Ignoring others’ needs

•Trying to control others

•Getting revenge when I don't get what I want

•Holding a resentment

•Acting to make me feel good

FRIGHTENED (OF)

•Peoples' opinions

•Rejection, abandonment

•Loneliness

•Physical injury, abuse

•Not being able to control or change someone

•My inferiority, inadequacy

•Criticism

•Expressing ideas or feelings

•Getting trapped

•Expo sure, embarrassment

•Manipulating others to do my will

•Putting others down internally or externally to build me up

•Engaging in character assassination

•Acting superior

•Acting to fill a void

•Engaging in gluttony or lusting at the expense of another person

_______________

*Thanks to Anonymous in New England.

Instructions for Completion

Complete each column top to bottom before proceeding to the next column.

Thus, for instance, fill in all the names of those you are resentful at

before filling in the column for the cause of each resentment. List real resentments, not imaginary or theoretical resentments. Is the resentment a problem for you, does it cause you pain?

Column 1 In dealing with resentments we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. Column 2 We asked ourselves why we were angry.

Column 3 On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations which had been interfered with?

Column 4 Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?

Column 5 This Column is optional. List specific other defects to show your participation in the resentments.

Reading from left to right we now see the resentment (Column 1), the cause (Column 2), the part of self that had been affected (Column 3), and the exact nature of the defect within us that allowed the resentment to surface and block us off from God’s will (Columns 4 and 5).

REVIEW OF RESENTMENTS

“SELF”

I’m RESENTFUL at:

The Cause:

I’m RESENTFUL at:

The Cause

I’m FEARFUL of:

Why do I have the fear?

Column 1 checklist (We reviewed our sex conduct over the years past. Whom had we hurt?)

•Her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

•Me with guilt or shame

•Infecting him/her a sexually transmitted disease

•Involving him/her in legal proceedings

•Embarrassing him/her

•How did I cause the hurt?

Column 2 checklist (Where had we been selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate?)

SELFISH

•Using him/her to meet my needs for sex, attention, approval, mothering, or fathering

•Not seeing him/her needs or problems

•Wanting to look good or be liked

•Taking out my emotions on him/her (anger, sadness, etc.)

•Wanting to control him/her

•Wanting special treatment

•Wanting him/her to take care of me

•Wanting more than my share

•Not trying to be a friend

Step Four Sex Conduct Checklist*

(to me or others)

•Leading someone on–saying I care for him/her more than I do because I want sex

•Not admitting my sexual orientation

•Thinking I'm better (grandiosity)

•Being perfectionistic

•Not being clear about my motive (wanting fathering, mothering, approval, approval, or sex)

•Wanting to vent my emotions on or control him/her

•Cheating on him/her

INCONSIDERATE

•To her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

•Putting others or myself at risk of disease, legal involvement, and embarrassment

•How I was inconsiderate?

Column 3 checklist (Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness)

JEALOUSY:

•Of her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

•How did I cause jealousy (tricking, flirting, also see Suspicion, below)?

-12 -

SUSPICION:

•Of her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

•How did I cause suspicion (lying, flirting, tricking, coming home late, etc.)?

BITTERNESS:

About her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

About me (guilt, shame) How did I cause bitterness?

Column 4 (Where was I at fault?)

•Was I selfish, self seeking, dishonest or fearful, thoughtless, uncaring?

Column 5 (What should I have done instead?)

•Not used the person

•Respected him/her

•Tried to be a friend

•Been candid and open

•Cared about him/her

•Treated him/her as I would have wanted to be treated

__________

*Thanks to Anonymous in New England.

Instructions for Completion

Complete each column top to bottom before going on to the next column.

Column 1 We reviewed our sex conduct over the years past. Whom had we hurt? Column 2 Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?

Column 3 Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness? Column 4 Where were we at fault?

Column 5 What should we have done instead?

COL. COL.

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REVIEW OF OUR OWN SEX CONDUCT

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Whom did I harm?

Where was I at fault?

What should I have done instead?