Hurt Feelings Report Form PDF Details

In a world where emotional sensitivity and the handling of grievances in professional environments are increasingly scrutinized, the Hurt Feelings Report form presents itself as a controversial document that walks the fine line between satire and the potential for misuse or misunderstanding within the framework of professional decorum and respect. This form, ostensibly designed to be handed to a Law Enforcement Officer, delineates a process for individuals, humorously referred to as "whiners," to report incidents where their feelings were hurt. With sections elaborating on the administrative data of the complainant, the specifics of the incident leading to hurt feelings, and a comprehensive checklist for the nature of the emotional injury including whether "tissue" was needed for tears, the document parodies formal complaint procedures. Furthermore, it engages with the Privacy Act of 1974 to lend itself an air of legitimacy, complicating its reception. The inclusion of a narrative section for the aggrieved to describe their grievances in "sissy words" and a concluding note that promises the dispatch of a "hugger" or, failing that, an Emergency Medical Services team for those ostensibly severely affected, underscores the form’s mocking tone towards sensitivities in contemporary discourse. Given its content and tone, the Hurt Feelings Report form stands as a polarizing artifact that exemplifies the tension between fostering a supportive and respectful workplace and ridiculing perceived oversensitivity.

QuestionAnswer
Form Name Hurt Feelings Report Form
Form Length 1 pages
Fillable? No
Fillable fields 0
Avg. time to fill out 15 sec
Other names hurt feelings report funny printable, butt hurt form, butthurt report, butthurt form

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HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?

 

LEFT

RIGHT

 

BOTH

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?

 

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

YES

NO

MULTIPLE

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

 

 

PART IV - REASON FOR

FILING THIS REPORT

 

 

 

 

 

(Mark all that apply)

 

 

 

I am thin skinned

 

 

The Dept needs to fix my problems

 

Two beers is not enough

 

 

I am a wimp

 

 

My feelings are easily hurt

 

My hands should be in my pockets

 

I have woman / man-like hormones

 

I didn't sign up for this

 

I was not offered a tissue

 

 

I am a crybaby

 

 

I was told that I am not a hero

 

Someone requested a tissue

 

 

I want my mommy

 

 

The weather is too cold

 

All of the above and more

 

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

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You need to submit the NO PART IV REASON FOR FILING THIS, I am thin skinned, I am a wimp, The Dept needs to fix my problems, Two beers is not enough, My feelings are easily hurt, My hands should be in my pockets, I have woman manlike hormones, I didnt sign up for this, I was not offered a tissue, I am a crybaby, I want my mommy, I was told that I am not a hero, Someone requested a tissue, and The weather is too cold box with the necessary information.

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